Avoidance and Self

By Marcena Batya

When we have gone through trauma it is not uncommon for us to become stuck in a cycle of avoidance. A cycle of losing ourselves in others.

We self medicate. We keep ourselves busy so we don’t have to feel our emotions and pain. We obsess over people, places and things. All the places we’d rather be, everyone else’s lives and problems.

In avoiding our pain we are literally avoiding ourselves. When we avoid ourselves we are not only avoiding the hard stuff, but the really amazing stuff too.

When we choose to not take the time to check in and feel our feelings, we also miss out on the love, joy and magic that resides deep inside us.

As within, so without… meaning if we are avoidant of our inner life, we are often avoidant of a lot of other situations in our outside life.

We begin to ignore the “signs” the universe sends us. We ignore our intuition, that quiet voice inside that tells us all we need to know. We ignore any and all reassurance from the universe that we are loved and that we are one.

So essentially this “simple” avoidance creates a chain reaction that can make life seem difficult and unenjoyable.

We end up avoiding truth, even when it is set right in front of our faces. We begin to avoid love because it leads to pain. We avoid self reflection because we are scared of what we might see.

In this avoidance we miss out on life. What should be precious moments start to feel like inconvenience. What should be easy becomes difficult. What should be love becomes fear.

Most humans are in a state of avoidance. In our society we are taught to go, go, go, keep going. Keep busy.

Rarely ever does someone suggest to us… “maybe stay right in this moment and just be. Just experience. “

So how do we begin to change this?

We stop running from ourselves.

We set aside time in our day to just be. To sit with self. To feel all we need to feel.

To deal with avoidance, we have to spend time with ourselves. Just being.

Only through seeing and accepting all of the parts of ourselves will we finally feel whole.

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